Just Came To Say Goodbye Love
by Watercolour Stains
Summary: An unwanted goodbye on both parts as Julian decides to leave Hogwarts...after quite a nasty revelation


Just came to say Goodbye love

Julian Jacobs walked into the library, his gaze towards the ground. He knew that Neva would question him the moment she saw him, and he didn't know what he would say. He had left Hogwarts for the weekend for personal reasons. He glanced down at his arm, grateful it was covered by his sleeve.

He looked around warily, not finding her anywhere. He hoped Neva wouldn't ask too many questions when she spotted him, but he knew that she would. He didn't know what he could tell her. He couldn't tell her the truth; it would kill her. But there was something he had to tell her.

Julian found an empty row of books, and slipped into them, not wanting to disturb the students that were studying. His brown hair fell over his bloodshot eyes and he groaned softly. He knew he had to go to the infirmary, but he chose not to. He wouldn't reveal what he had done. Not to the nurse, not to anyone.

Neva watches as Julian walks into the library, her eyes narrowed. She hadn't seen hide nor hair of him all weekend. It would be a lie to say that it didn't worry her. He had never dissappeared like that before. It just wasn't in his character.

She waits a few moments before walking slowly and quietly into the library. She looks on as he slips into a row of books, not entirely sure whether to follow him. Something about his demeanor just wasn't right. He didn't look...well. She closes her eyes, thinking for a moment. She could just leave the library and let him approach her. But who knows if he would. That would just leave her open to the prospect of his prolonged silence.

With heavy feet and heart, she walks over to where Julian had dissappeared and stands by his side, looking at him pointedly. His blood shot eyes and pale visage were not becoming of him. She was worried. She stands by his side, waiting for him to notice her.

Julian looked at Neva as she appeared before him. He avoided her gaze and swallowed. "Neva," he said softly. He didn't know what to tell her. Should he tell her the truth? Or lie to her, to save her from what would happen?

"I…left this weekend," he said, in response to her question of where he had been. He coughed once, tasting metallic in his mouth; blood. He clenched his arm where the bandages were, and finally met her eye. "I went to visit a…friend." He closed his eyes and opened them again. He took a deep breath, resolving to tell her the truth. He couldn't keep it from her forever, and he didn't want to lie to her.

"Neva, I went to visit one of my friends of Durmstrang. She…" he closed his eyes shut, not willing to say it. "She's dying. It was another werewolf. It's too late for her, and she already killed the thing. But she needed my help. So…so I helped her." He crossed his arms over his chest carefully and stared at the title of a book in front of him. _How to Manage Your Mimbulus Mimbletonia. _He tried to smirk at the title, but couldn't manage even a small smile. 

Julian glanced at Neva with an odd look on his face. "She…wanted me to stay. It had been so long since I've seen her and…things…happened." He felt his heart clench tightly, as tightly as though it were being ripped from his chest. "She…got me…drunk. And she took…" he cleared his throat. "…advantage of me." He sighed unhappily and turned to Neva, grasping her hands and pulling her closer to him. "Oh, Neva, I'm so sorry. I never meant for that to happen," he said desperately, shaking his head. "She wasn't like that in school, but she was distraught, and she didn't know what she was thinking. I wasn't myself. You know I would never do anything to hurt you," he begged. His eyes held shame and regret and sadness. "I'm so so sorry." 

Neva watches as Julian attempts to explain himself, her eyes widening as he confesses. She looks at him, barely able to utter a word. How could he? She had thought that she could trust him with her lif. With her very being. As it was, he was just another person on the list of those who hurt her. Granted, he did seem genuinely sorry for his actions. But that still didn't change the fact.

She stiffens as he pulls her closer to him, wishing more than anything to just run from the moment and hide in her bed until the awful truth went away. But it wouldn't.

Neva looks at him, no sense of remorse or pity etched on her pain fillied visage. Tears drip down her hollow cheeks as she musters up the strength to speak. "Did she infect you" she asks sternly, her lips pursed.

Julian closed his eyes and stepped back, releasing her hands. That's all she could say. Did she infect him? He almost chuckled. No, how'd you get hurt? What happened? Not even any yelling. He didn't like her quiet countenance, it stung too badly. He stared at her face and saw the tears running down her cheeks. He felt like crying himself, but tried to stay strong.

He leaned against the shelves of books, glad for the secluded library. He took a moment to respond, but when he did, he took a deep breath and shook his head. "No," he said softly. "I don't think she did. After all, Hyde must have…with Niky…and she's not infected." He looked at his arm, where he could see specks of blood seeping through his sweater; he had not bothered to change into his Hogwarts robes. "I don't feel any different."

Julian glanced at her sideways and noticed how upset she was becoming. "Neva," he whispered quietly. "You must know that I never did this intentionally. When I went to her, I had no intention of sleeping with her. As a matter of fact, I didn't even want to go, but you know how I am when it comes to revenge." He let out a soft sob, a small one, and hid his face from her for a moment to wipe a tear away from his face. "Please, Neva…" he begged, turning back to her, his eyes searching her own.

Dragging her feet wordlessly, her head filled with memories. Memories which he had besmirched. It hurt her to think that perhaps Holly was watching all of this, her heart breaking as her mother's was, watching her parents drift apart from each other.

This was it. This was the be all and end all of life. Neva decides there and then that she wished not to be part of this god forsaken dance any longer. All she had was the pain of other's selfishness and brutality. The pain of losing those nearest and dearest to her.

Neva barely notices as she arrives at the girl's bathroom on the third floor, knowing full well that nobody is likely to use them. She opens the door, no feeling, no remorse...nothing. She lopes over to one of the sinks and reaches underneath it, pulling out a knife she had snuck into the bathroom at one of her lowest ebbs. She stares at the blade, entranced at the shining metal glinting in the light. How could something so beautiful be so deadly?

With a shaking hand, Neva brings the knife to her wrist and cuts, deep and hard. Her blood, her life's elixer, splashes on the cold stone floor as she moves to her right wrist and continues her act. She throws the knife to the side, sliding down the wall heartbroken, waiting for the darkness to take her.

She barely notices when a worried looking teacher runs over to her. Who, she couldn't tell. Damn it! Myrtle must have told them. The teacher lifts her up, blood trailing behind them as her cold, unmoving eyes trace the distance from their departure, to the hospital wing.

Julian stayed there for what seemed like an eternity, just leaning against the wall outside the infirmary. Suddenly, he looked up, hearing frantic voices. He recognized the black hair, and knew immediately that it was Neva. He saw the blood trail behind her as she was ushered into the room. He stared down at the blood on the floor, quickly blackening due to the dirt on the floor. He knew he'd done this to her. "Neva…" he whispered hoarsely.

He hurried back into the infirmary and forced his way towards where she was. He didn't say anything, but stared at Neva as the nurse tried to fix her up. He swallowed hard. He wouldn't leave her side. No matter what he did to her, and how much she hated him, even though it wasn't exactly his fault, he would always love her, and try and make things better when all hope was lost. What was difficult now, was that he didn't know what to do, now that _he _had caused this hurt.

Neva watches out of half open, bleary eyes as she is carried to the hospital wing. She lays there, somewhat put out as the nurse attempts to heal her wounds. Why couldn't she just let her be? It was obvious that she wasn't grateful for the help as she had caused her own injuries. No...she hadn't...he had.

Neva moves her head slightly to the side, not having the strength to make any sudden movements, as Julian breaks his way through the crowd. She glares for a moment. How had he the nerve to be by her side now. He had cheated on her. She very much doubted that he was thinking of her as he went on with it.

Her gaze softens slightly, taking note of the pain etched on his face. She closes her eyes for a moment, thinking back to what she had been told. Maybe...just maybe...if she were able to trust him. Which she sorely doubted at this point on time. She could see her way to forgiving him. After all, it wasn't entirely his fault. She just needed to know that she could trust him, like she used to.

Julian watched as Neva turned her head towards him. When she closed her eyes, he took a step forward, but was pushed back by strong hands. He glanced up and noticed a male Professor. His name, Julian didn't know, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to get to Neva, to make this all better. He had to make her see that he regretted his actions, and what had happened after he woke up the next morning. Why he had the injuries…

"Get back," the Professor said gruffly. He pushed Julian back further and almost out the door. Julian glared at him, not giving a damn what happened to him if he defied a Professor. After all, he was a seventh year, and he didn't care if he got expelled. He shoved his way past the Professor, and everyone else. He vaguely felt himself pass through Moaning Myrtle, who was standing there giggling at Neva's condition.

"Neva," he said softly, having finally pushed his way through the crowd. He was there for only a moment before he felt himself grow rigid. Someone had cast the Immobulus spell on him. He cursed silently as he was pushed out of the infirmary, hearing someone mutter about bothersome students.

Neva turns her head away as Julian continually attempts to get closer to her. She didn't want him here. She didn't want anybody here. She just wished to be left alone to complete what she had started. Why had the teacher invaded her privacy in such a blatant way? She realised her act was selfish and downright wrong, but she didn't care. She didn't feel as though there was anything keeping her going. She was trapped between a dissapointing, hurtful life and the peace of death and everything else that came with it.

Neva frowns upon hearing the immobulus charm being cast. She looks up to glare at the person who had cast it, but changes her mind upon realising who it was. Professor Tolkien. But she had thought that he hated her, especially after that time in Charms. Maybe he wasn't so bitter after all. 

Julian felt the charm being released once he was out of the infirmary. He glared angrily at the Professor and stalked off. "Dammit," he muttered. He couldn't believe how quickly he was thrust from Neva's life. Perhaps if he knew this was going to happen, it would have been better to just lie to her. Either that or just let the girl who had once been his friend kill him like she wanted to.

His mind flashed back to what happened that morning, after that…

_Julian woke up, groggy. He looked around, in a daze. He didn't know where he was; he felt a chill run down his back and he looked down. He let out an audible gasp. He was in a bed…naked. He frowned, wondering where Neva was. He vaguely wondered if she had dragged him down to Hogsmeade for a bit of early term fun._

_He sighed and climbed out of the bed, pulling his boxers and pants on. He noticed that it didn't look like an inn, and fuzzy memories returned to him. He cursed and entered the living room. A girl, with long blonde hair was seated on the couch. Her face was a mess. It was bloody and scratched. The moment she saw him, she leapt up, and lunged at him…_

Julian shook his head, trying to rid himself of the horrible memories. The whole time she attacked him, all he thought of was Neva, and how he had wronged her. He felt he deserved he should die, but he didn't want to, in case there was some way…some inkling of hope.

Neva tuckes her legs underneath her chin, refusing to meet Julian's eyes as he wraps his cloak around her. She had only realised then that she had been shivering. She had goosebumps up her arms, making her feel mottled and filthy. The waterlogged grass was doing nothing to detract from the sensation. Mud was splashing up her back, being propelled by the heavy raindrops falling from the angry clouds. She didn't care, though. She was too consumed in thought.

Neva listens to Julian's tale, trying very hard not to zone out again. She was finding it particularly hard to concentrate. Perhaps the blood loss was a factor. No matter. She listens, her eyes taking on an unusually glazed look as she watches the small waves begin and end their short lives with a crash upon the shore. It was strange. She had joined Julian by the lake, with a view to throwing her engagement ring into the murky water. Now her heart suddenly began to soften, breaking free of the icy cage it had been captured in as he confessed to the events.

It wasn't him at all. He was just an unfortunate victim to another woman's plotting. How could one woman be so calculating and vindictive? It amazed her.

Neva leans further into her lap, thanking the rain for disguising her pain filled tears. " I'm sorry I didn't trust you" she whispers, barely audible over the clapping of thunder.

Julian watched her for a moment. He saw her lips move, and knew she said something. He could barely hear her, but he knew what she said. "You have every right to leave me," he said softly. "I know what we did was wrong. I should have caught on sooner." His hand formed into angry fist. "I was so stupid," he growled.

He glanced at Neva. "I'm sorry I caused that," he said softly, referring to her self-mutilation. He felt horrible, and the moment he had seen the blood on the floor, his own blood ran cold. He had never wanted to cause Neva pain, but he hadn't seen fit to cheat on her either. Or to lie to her. He knew he would never be able to make it up to her, but he could try.

Neva glances at her ring for a moment, knowing what she should do. But also knowing that what her heart told her was all she was willing to listen to. She knew that, in all honesty, she should cut and run. There was no guarentee that he would stay faithful after he strayed. Although, there was never such guarentee. All she could do was listen to her own feelings, telling her that they could work through it. 

She runs a finger over her arms. They had been healed, but they still carried garish, white scars. Memoirs of an event best forgotten. Sighing heavily, she looks up, the rain lashing ever harder on her feeble, pathetic form. " You are not stupid" she states cooly. He was many things, but stupid wasn't one of them. Anybody who had even the remotest depth of humanity could fall for her trap. He just happened to be in the small percentage who repented and felt genuinely sorry for his actions.

" It'll be hard. We may not make it. But if we can work through this, the rest of the world doesn't stand a chance against us" Neva proclaims. 

Julian stared at her in disbelief. "You're going to stay with me?" he asked, genuinely shocked. He had hoped against hope that she would stay with him, but he didn't actually expect that she'd stay with him. Or believe his almost unbelievable story. But everything he'd said was true. Every word of it.

He turned towards her, his body fully facing hers now. The wind whipped his hair around, blowing rain in his eyes, and he was glad for that; he didn't want to allow Neva to see his tears. After all, he was him. He didn't cry. He gazed at her, his eyes searching hers. 

Neva looks up at Julian, her fiery eyes warming up the cold, harsh world around them. She pulls Julian's cloak around her, feeling somewhat exposed by his gaze. "What?" she asks, looking confused. She had a suspicion that he didn't expect her to believe his story. After all, many wouldn't. But she knew better than to dismiss the unexpected. " I do believe you. After all we've been through, I know you wouldn't lie." she admits. " Granted, my trust in your fidelity has been tarnished, but my trust in your honesty has never and will never be so." she states.

Neva shivers slightly in the cold. Her senses were beginning to reawaken. Perhaps it was because she had finally learned the truth. Suddenly it didn't seem so unbearable. The shock of hearing Julian's admittance had shut down her feelings, causing her to appear cold, almost robotic.

She wipes her cheeks free of tears with Julian's cloak. She knew this was futile as they would soon be coated again, but it was something to do to fill the awkward moment. 

Julian nodded slowly, knowing that she wouldn't fully trust him anymore. He could deal with that. So long as she didn't leave him. He saw her shiver, and frowned. "We should go in," he said firmly. "I don't want you to get sick." He stood up and held out his soaked hand for her to take. He wasn't sure she'd take it, but it was worth the effort.

As he stood there waiting for her to take his hand, he shuddered. The rain was really getting to him, and he coughed once. He didn't taste metallic anymore, but then he remembered; the nurse had healed him. He squinted his eyes and looked all around him. The rain was really pouring down in buckets, and he wasn't too keen of being out here for much longer. When he was out earlier, he didn't mind because he wasn't paying any attention to the rain, instead lost in his thoughts. He was lost in his thoughts once more as he shuddered again.

Neva looks up as Julian stands. She stares at his out stretched hand for a moment. He did try hard, she had to give him that. He was a persistent fellow. With each passing moment, she was starting to think that this relationship was worth saving. Granted, they had both betrayed each other. He by cheating on her, her by attempting to take her own life. She knew this would have hurt him. He had never shown much feeling about her form of stress relief. But she knew it killed him inside. For that she would be eternally sorry.

With a shaking, drenched and pale hand, Neva grasps hold of Julian's outstretched hand and pulls her self up, still not feeling able to allow even a ghost of a smile to pass her lips. 

Julian looked back to Neva as he felt her cold hand in his. He tried to smile at her, but it failed, and came out as a weak grimace. He linked his fingers with hers and stepped closer to her. He wrapped his arm around her in an awkward hug. He leaned towards her ear and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "I really do mean that."

After he apologized again, he released her from his hug and walked with her back to the castle. "They'll be wanting to know where you've been," he murmured, referring to her infirmary visit. He didn't know, but he could guess that she'd left without being discharged.

Neva closes her eyes as Julian embraces her, albeit awkwardly. Her muscles stiffen in his grasp. She wasn't ready for such shows of affection. Not yet anyway. Regardless of their drowned rat demeanors, she could still smell his cologne. She breathes it in whilst he holds her, her mind being overtaken with memories of better times.

After Julian breaks away, she opens her eyes and follows Julian back up to the castle. " They didn't want me to leave" she says bluntly. "No doubt they've sent out a search party" she muses, feeling somewhat, vaguely amused at the idea. 

Julian smirked. "That's just like you," he said to her as they walked up the path. When they reached the door, he opened it, and let her enter first. When she did, he followed and let it slam behind him. He glanced down. He was literally leaving a puddle every time he took a step. "Thank Merlin Filch isn't here anymore," he mentioned, chuckling. He was referring to back when the famous Harry Potter and crew were still in school.

"If they have sent out a search party, I'll just tell them the truth, that you were with me, and you're fine," he said quietly. "At least…physically…" 

Neva walks through the door into the entrance way, Julian following close behind. She stands in the vast room, a huge puddle collecting at her feet. Her sodden hair clings to her face and neck, unrepenting in it's continual dripping of cold water down her back. She rubs her face with Julian's cloak, her sore, red eyes screaming in protest at the contact of material.

"I don't want to go back there" She explains, as Julian mentions the search party. " I don't...I don't know where I want to be. My common room will be filled with happy, joyful people and I just couldn't face that" she exclaims. She was finding it difficult to think of anywhere where she was likely to go un noticed.

Julian turned to her, squinting in the bright light. He was used to the darkness, and now that he was inside, he found he'd like it better outside in the storm.

He nodded softly and agreed with her silently. "What do you want to do?" he asked softly, stepping towards her. "I don't want to leave you alone." He gazed at her for a moment. "We could…leave," he said quietly. He didn't know how she'd react, but he had never intended to come back to Hogwarts after he left for the summer anyway. He had just come back because of Neva. Now that his mission was over, he had no reason to stay. Only for Neva. She was the only one keeping him in this…place.

Neva looks up as Julian approaches her, shocked at his suggestion. " But I don't want to leave. If I don't graduate, I stand no chance of following in my Mother's footsteps" she digresses. She knew that Julian hated it here, only staying for her. She didn't want to be the reason that he tied himself down to this place. It wasn't fair on either of them.

And what about her friends? She didn't want to just up and leave without saying goodbye. There were too many people to miss...too many that could misunderstand. Especially Professor Maline. She had grown quite fond of the woman. She hated the idea of insulting her by upping sticks without even attending and enjoying one of her lessons. She couldn't leave...

Julian nodded slowly, knowing that she wouldn't leave. After all, he had brought her to finish her last year here. He sighed and leaned against the wall, not knowing what to tell her now.

He tried hard to think of a solution, a way of making Neva happy, but couldn't come up with anything except staying at Hogwarts. Although it would be bittersweet. He wondered what to do now, as they stood there, in the Entrance Hall, silence overcoming them. 

Neva studies Julian as he leans against the wall, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. She walks over to him and places a shaking hand on his cold face. " If you don't want to stay here...leave. I'll wait for you" she reassures him. She didn't want to be the reason for his suffering. That would weigh too heavy on her heart. Besides, they didn't have that long to be apart. They could always see each other at the holidays and Hogsmeade weekends.

Julian felt her cold hand on his skin, and raised his hand to hold it. He frowned at what she was saying. "I couldn't do that," he said. "I don't want to leave you alone." He shook his head. "It's not that bad here; I just don't like all the drama around here. I don't want to leave you," he said desperately.

Neva studies Julian's visage, her heart clenching garishly. " I'm not alone." she reassures him. " Besides. I can tell you're unhappy. There will always be drama and stupidity, thus always a reason to feel distressed by it" she exclaims, flinching slightly as he places his cold hand on hers.

Julian frowned once more. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I don't want to leave you here where I can't protect you." He remembered his cousin, knowing that if he was gone, she'd do something to Neva. "I know you can take care of yourself, but still…" He was still unsure, but he did want to get out of there.

Neva looks down at her feet. In her haste to please Julian, she had forgotten she was angry with him. Perhaps that was a good thing. She hated feeling so let down and bruised by him.

She looks back up, looking deep into Julian's eyes to reassure him. " I'll be fine. Don't worry about me" she states, knowing full well that he will. She leans in and kisses him softly, warming up his cold lips.

After a few moments, she pulls away, her lips red and raw to match her eyes. "Go" she whispers, squeezing his hand ever tighter.

Julian nodded slowly, though they both knew he would definitely worry about her. He worried about her every day; it was just in his genes. He felt her lips on his, and he kissed her back, not wanting to leave her.

He stared at her as she whispered that one word he didn't want to hear. He gazed into her eyes as the silence was prolonged. He clamped his eyes shut for a moment, then opened them. "Alright," he said. "I'll work while we're away. So we can have a bit of money when you graduate." He tried to manage a smile, but again, it failed.

Neva sighs inwardly, somehow dissapointed that he didn't put up more of a fight. She knew it was already planned, if not formulated, in his mind. It was just rather hard to hear that her suspicions were correct.

She nods as Julian tells her of his plan. " Just make sure you make the most of every moment. You have to promise me that" she she exclaims. She didn't want him to be worrying about their future, all the while letting his present slip away.

"You know I love you, don't you."

Julian had wanted to put up a fight, and refuse to leave, but he knew he was just going to leave anyhow. He had only wished that Neva would have left with him.

He nodded truthfully. "Of course," he said. "I will do that." He felt his heart clench. He felt as if he was actually leaving her. He knew it was only for a while, but he still felt like he was losing her.

Julian nodded slowly as he heard her last remark. "Yes," he said. "I know you do." He stepped closer and hugged her to him, not willing to let her go. "And I love you too. More than you'll ever know."

Neva wraps her arms around Julian as he pulls her into an all consuming hug.She closes her eyes, hot tears falling down her hollow cheeks as it feels as though they are saying goodbye for the last time. She is fully aware that they will see each other again. She would make sure to meet him in Hogsmeade and to haunt the Orchard during holidays. It was just strange to think that she wouldn't see him everyday. She wouldn't be able to kiss him goodmorning, or bid him goodnight. She revels in the warm embrace, wishing that this moment wasn't happening.

" I know you do" Neva whispers, her hand caressing Julian's cheek gently. " You'll never know how grateful I am for that".

Julian stared at Neva, his eyes dull. The sparkle they once held was no gone. He knew fully well that he would see her again, and he was going to make sure he'd visit Hogsmeade, but he still would miss her terribly. His own hands traveled up to her face. He held her gently and kissed her once more. "You," he said softly, "are the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't want to lose you. Promise me that you won't let anything happen to you. You'll carry on like I was there. I'll write you every day, and I want you to excel."

He smiled at her softly, trying to make light of the situation. "No more me to distract you of your dream of becoming a Transfiguration Professor."

Neva allows her gaze to fall to Julian's eyes. They were solid, almost set in stone. Cold determination engrained into them. She closes her own eyes as he kisses her again. Their lips connect for the briefest of moments, sparkjs shooting between them as they savour one of their last meals for who knows how long. Feeling Julian pull away again, she opens her eyes, feeling his hands ascend up her alabaster face. She lays a soft hand on his as he speaks. " I promise I'll look after myself" she says, not sure if she could keep the promise. It was harder with nobody to watch over you, making sure you lived, laughed and loved. " You better write Mr, or I'll drag your butt back here so fast" she says, her lips pursed slightly as she allows a small smile to pass her lips.

She rests her forhead on Julian's, feeling unconvinced of his next statement. " Who said you were a distraction?" she simpers.

Julian nodded faintly, hoping that the next time he saw her, he'd see her as she was now, minus being dripping wet and shivering, of course. He laughed slightly when she attempted to joke with him. But it was a futile attempt. This was no laughing matter. How he wanted to stay with her, but knew he wouldn't be able to stay in this place.

He glanced at her as she rested her forehead on his, smiling softly. "It's not what's said, Neva, it's what's done." He frowned, not knowing what he just said, or if it even made any sense. It didn't matter though. He knew she'd know what he meant.

Neva turns to face the Nurse and her followers, leaning into Julian as they approach her. " I'm not g..going with you. I'm fine" she stammers through gritted, chattering teeth. She didn't want to leave Julian like this. This wasn't how it was meant to be. She takes one more, fearful look at the crowd before kissing Julian's hand and breaking into a run. She pushes the entrance doors open with a heavy band and runs as fast as her legs would carry her, the Professors in hot pursuit. She runs, her every muscle burning with the effort of maneuvering her way through the dark, sodden grounds. She doesn't stop until she reaches a small building at the back of the castle. 

The Professor's had been lost from pursuit, probably giving her up as a lost cause. She pushes the door of the delapidated building open and bursts inside, shutting the door behind her. She stands, her breathing stunted, as hot tears fall down her cheeks. After casting a quick inscendio charm on a small lamp by a stack of old brooms, she leans against the wall and slides down it, staring into space. 

Julian didn't know what happened, but just stared as Neva kissed his hand and broke into a run. The Professors whipped past him and he turned. "Neva…" he whispered. He wasn't sure if he should follow her or not.

He stepped out onto the stone steps outside of the castle. He watched the Professors run after her, and some of them gave up soon. They stalked back to the castle, glaring at him as they past. He frowned at them. They obviously thought this was his fault. He stepped forward once more, then just stood there. "Neva…"

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting for the inevitable, Neva stands up shakily from the cold ground, satisfied that she was no longer the hunted. She lays a hand on the doorknob, her hand burning slightly as it had quickly been warmed up by the kerosene lamp, and opens the door with a creak. She walks out of the small building, looking around her for her hunters.

Finding the grounds devoid of Professor's, she lopes off into the darkness, hoping that she is going in the direction of the entrance hall where Julian would be stood. After a long walk, she begins to see a small, growing larger, figure stood, looking helpless by the stone steps leading to the castle. She walks over to him, pulling him into a hug that felt as though it would envelope her and swallow her whole. Her raw, red eyes give away the apparently calm demeanor she chose to wear.

Julian stared as a small figure approached him after what seemed like hours. He allowed the figure to envelope him into a hug and he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Neva…" he whispered. He didn't know what to say, but he knew that she was hurting. He didn't want to leave, now more than ever. "I love you," he whispered, almost inaudibly. He gazed into her eyes, feeling the pain and hurt she was feeling.

Neva closes her eyes for a moment as Julian kisses her, opening them only when he breaks their embrace. She studies him for a moment, breathing back her tears. " You have to go" she states. " I don't want you to be caught trying to leave the grounds. It'll be harder to leave then. If those Professor's come by again, I'll provide a distraction" she explains. She didn't want him to have to suffer their goodbye any longer. Each passing moment made it all the worse.

Julian nodded softly, knowing she was right. He held her closely to his body once more, not wanting to let her go. He held her like that for just a moment before suddenly releasing her completely. "I love you," he whispered. "You know I do. And I will write." His voice came out raspy and choked. He closed his mouth and kissed her one last time.

Breaking free, he turned towards the door. He had already magicked his belongings to the orchard. He clasped Neva's hand and squeezed it one final time before fully turning towards the door and pushing it open.

He glanced back at Neva with a sad look in his eyes, turned, and disappeared into the night.

Neva leans in to Julian's kiss one more time, willing the moment to not end. But it did. And all too soon. " I love you too" she whispers. She could practically hear her heart break in two as he turns to leave. She watches him silently as he walks out of her life. " Goodbye my heart" she whispers in to the night air.


End file.
